It feels like I'm turning a new chapter in my life. You can really never tell what life could bring and it seems that the forces of the earth didn't fail on making that concept true. I try not to make this a center of my universe but I don't have anything to pull my weights on. There is no star in my universe, or maybe there is something forming in the center like a primordial mixture of gases concocting something that would breathe new life.
Yes, there is this guy I have been seeing for a month, I met him in someplace best friend Janjan and I call home. You know the drill. It was Friday the 13th that night but I remember meeting him at around 1-2am that evening, I mean morning, making it a Saturday the 14th. Going to that place doesn't seem a big deal to me anymore, unlike before wherein I feel my heart pounding the guts out of me as the taxi cab turned right down the Maria Orosa. I was one of those nights, I mean midnights or maybe mornings that are just rudimentary to my weekly routine.
I really missed the people there. The so called feeling of "brotherhood" and all of that easy acceptance of people. Anything and everything could happen to that place, it seems that it so good to be true. Like most things in life, most people, including myself, say that: "If its so good to be true, then it probably is." Its true at some aspect but this statement looks at life at a very much pessimistic way. What a sad way to celebrate such a short time here in earth.
Thinking about "living life to the fullest" is not that difficult. Seeing all of those people in the dancefloor who are just wanting to be back in their teen-age days (if they had any fun at that time) would make any sexually repressed person realize that they are missing a big chunk of their life. (a close friend Vittorio comes to mind)
Then, a few minutes later, the DJ in the dance club plays my favorite set of songs. From the techno version of Michelle Branch's Breathe, to a extended mix of hits from Italian superstar Moony to some other house anthems. Yes, I also missed the music.
Under the vibrant colors of the strobe lights and the red streaks of light coming from the disco ball, this is a place where most of my dreams come true, even for a small fraction of time.
Some people might say that this kind of happiness may be temporary, well its true. It is similar to a scenario where a cute guy or a person's crush passes by and suddenly waves and says "hi." It is just a trivial moment for that person of attraction but to me, it seems to be very relevant. Here comes the over-analyzation of things. Hmm, enough about that. Going to the dance club place is just like that. A good analogy is to compare it to life itself. Actually, there is no difference at all. In order for me to attract a guy that I fancy, I should do something about it, like look him into the eye or move closer. So that's what I did. I took the initiative to break the ice. I remember what I felt that moment: I was nervous at the same time joyful. I zeroed in to him, and I noticed that new was not moving away. This means that he also likes me. Damn, for the first time in my life, someone that I like also likes me. My heart pounds for that event to happen. Even though the dance floor was not that crowded, we still remained close to each other's proximity. Suddenly, I slowly moved my arm towards him. I made my hand walk and tried to softly touch his hand. His hand did not move a bit. What a stroke to luck. He likes me! He really really likes me. Finally, I took his hand and we held hands for a few minutes. He lead the way out the dance floor and we went to the balcony. We talked for the first time. The usual questions were asked: Whats ur name? Age? Hometown, etc. Both of us were nervous, but somehow, there is also a feeling of relief. So we went back inside and danced the night away. (and danced our brains out)
This brings me back to my blog. My blog is like a part of me that could never be replaced, like my bead bracelet which he asked if he could have. I gave it to him. Its like giving myself to him. Awwh..
Marooned Six Times is the name of the blog, but the meaning has changed. Marooned, because he studies in UP Diliman; marooned, like the dark red lazer lights inside the dance club; marooned no more because he saved me from being alone. Six times, because after six meets we knew each other better and more personally.
This is the story of my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment