Wednesday, September 29, 2004
We met last Monday at 12:30 after my meeting with my CS groupmates. We went to numerous places, (as always) SM North, Greenhills and Mega all in one day. Its not the first time we did that. Last Saturday, we did the same thing, going to Rob East, Mega, Shang and Eastwood.
I took him home that Saturday.
Then last night, best friend Vip met with Jeff. Yes, He wanted to meet him long ago.
That's all folks!
Friday, September 24, 2004
Yes, there is this guy I have been seeing for a month, I met him in someplace best friend Janjan and I call home. You know the drill. It was Friday the 13th that night but I remember meeting him at around 1-2am that evening, I mean morning, making it a Saturday the 14th. Going to that place doesn't seem a big deal to me anymore, unlike before wherein I feel my heart pounding the guts out of me as the taxi cab turned right down the Maria Orosa. I was one of those nights, I mean midnights or maybe mornings that are just rudimentary to my weekly routine.
I really missed the people there. The so called feeling of "brotherhood" and all of that easy acceptance of people. Anything and everything could happen to that place, it seems that it so good to be true. Like most things in life, most people, including myself, say that: "If its so good to be true, then it probably is." Its true at some aspect but this statement looks at life at a very much pessimistic way. What a sad way to celebrate such a short time here in earth.
Thinking about "living life to the fullest" is not that difficult. Seeing all of those people in the dancefloor who are just wanting to be back in their teen-age days (if they had any fun at that time) would make any sexually repressed person realize that they are missing a big chunk of their life. (a close friend Vittorio comes to mind)
Then, a few minutes later, the DJ in the dance club plays my favorite set of songs. From the techno version of Michelle Branch's Breathe, to a extended mix of hits from Italian superstar Moony to some other house anthems. Yes, I also missed the music.
Under the vibrant colors of the strobe lights and the red streaks of light coming from the disco ball, this is a place where most of my dreams come true, even for a small fraction of time.
Some people might say that this kind of happiness may be temporary, well its true. It is similar to a scenario where a cute guy or a person's crush passes by and suddenly waves and says "hi." It is just a trivial moment for that person of attraction but to me, it seems to be very relevant. Here comes the over-analyzation of things. Hmm, enough about that. Going to the dance club place is just like that. A good analogy is to compare it to life itself. Actually, there is no difference at all. In order for me to attract a guy that I fancy, I should do something about it, like look him into the eye or move closer. So that's what I did. I took the initiative to break the ice. I remember what I felt that moment: I was nervous at the same time joyful. I zeroed in to him, and I noticed that new was not moving away. This means that he also likes me. Damn, for the first time in my life, someone that I like also likes me. My heart pounds for that event to happen. Even though the dance floor was not that crowded, we still remained close to each other's proximity. Suddenly, I slowly moved my arm towards him. I made my hand walk and tried to softly touch his hand. His hand did not move a bit. What a stroke to luck. He likes me! He really really likes me. Finally, I took his hand and we held hands for a few minutes. He lead the way out the dance floor and we went to the balcony. We talked for the first time. The usual questions were asked: Whats ur name? Age? Hometown, etc. Both of us were nervous, but somehow, there is also a feeling of relief. So we went back inside and danced the night away. (and danced our brains out)
This brings me back to my blog. My blog is like a part of me that could never be replaced, like my bead bracelet which he asked if he could have. I gave it to him. Its like giving myself to him. Awwh..
Marooned Six Times is the name of the blog, but the meaning has changed. Marooned, because he studies in UP Diliman; marooned, like the dark red lazer lights inside the dance club; marooned no more because he saved me from being alone. Six times, because after six meets we knew each other better and more personally.
This is the story of my life.
Another enlightening moment was in philo class. My prof said that TRUTH reveals itself like a stripper, not a flasher. The very graphic analogy means that the TRUTH does not reveal itself all at once but one by one, it's like a process, each new day is another opportunity to know something or someone.
A recent incident comes to mind.
I could still feel his hand touching mine.
Make this moment last...
Thursday, September 23, 2004
yes, i finally confronted the ghost, casper the friendsly ghost. (actually he looks like the cartoon character.) We were both in the Filipinana section of the lib a few moments ago. I got my bag and didn't look at him. He didin't look at me as well. Now thats a real closure. I only need to know one thing, that he is just fooling around. Well, today I have proven it.
time to get back into my real life.
life is good.
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
Monday, September 20, 2004
Friday, September 17, 2004
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Unfortunately for me and my ka-benchmates, they don't hang out by the good ol' tree anymore. Maybe everyone's busy for that marketing pass. Good luck to everyone. So help us God.
Smooth sailing indeed.
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
December 2003- May 2004
1979 Volkswagen Beetle
Tunay na maraming alaala ang nabuo sa maliit na kotseng ito. Nang una ko itong ginamit papuntang Katipunan Avenue, may kakaibang pakiramdam akong nadama. Parang may natamo akong tagumpay. Nabagtas ko ang isa sa mga mapanganib na kakalsadahan sa Metro Manila. Dahil sa kotseng ito, lalo akong naging confident sa buhay (cheesy di ba?) Pero korny man pakinggan, tunay ngang binago ni Kachorra ang buhay ko.
Halos lahat ng MG ay nakasakay na dito. Naalala ko ang isang gabi galing sa Ortigas Center papuntang Ateneo at UP. Sakay pa nun sina Elgin, Josef, Mario at Janjan. Yun ang unang araw ng MG day na may Kachorra. 'Stig. Pagkatapos noon, sumakay pa sina Vip, Paolo at Wendell pagdating ng Katips. Walang katapusang pag-ikot sa QC circle ang nangyari, medyo nakakahilo nga eh. Tapos tumigil ng sandali upang tingnan ang mga "paninda" sa kalsada na iyon. Nakakatakot ngunit nakakatawa din.
Nawala pa sa likod ng SM North. Scary di ba? Ngunit nakapunta rin sa Timog at kumain sa Hotshots sa tabi ng ABS.
At papunta na sanang Bed nun nang bigla na lang umusok si Kachorra sa may Cubao. Sabi nga ni Wendell: "Bretch, Bretch, umalis ka dyan, baka sumabog." Ayan napurnada na tayo.
Salamat sa Diyos at natuloy din isang gabi ang pinanabikan. Di naman complete attendance nun, at least nakaBedang na. Sina Mario, Paolo, Armen, Wendell, Janjan ang kasama nun. Kumarera si Paolola. Exciting nga. Si Janjan, alas kuwatro na nang kumarera. Sabi ko, "Janjan, we need to go." Tapos, naligaw pa kami sa South Expressway mula Maynila. (ang taray no?) Sa Merville Exit na yata lumabas. Natulog ng sandali sa house ni Jan tapos bumulaga ang Vienna Sausage and Eggs breakfast sa table nila.
Maraming beses rin akong tinirik ni Kachorra, mabuti naman at hindi ako natsugi. Isang insidente noon ay tumirik siya sa may construcution sa Katips, buti na lang at may malapit na talyer dun. Alternator, Fan Belt, change oil, wiper, atbp. Nagets ko na rin siya. Tandaan: walang radiator ang Volks ha.
Kachorra: sa lahat ng kotse ko, ikaw pa rin ang number one. Paalam na...
kasama nang luma kong kotse, ibabaon ko na sa limot ang mga nakaraan.
dito na lang ako sa may patutunguhan.
isang buwan na ang nakalipas mula nang makilala ko siya isang umaga.
naalala ko na nagkadikit ang aming mga balikat.
unti-unting kaming lumapit sa isa't isa.
at dahan-dahan humaplos ang kamay ko sa kanya.
at hinawakan ko ang kamay niya.
at hinawakan rin niya ang kamay ko..
kami ay lumabas
at ako'y kinausap niya.
medyo kabado pa ako noon.
and everything, as they say, was history.
Friday, September 10, 2004
eto pa rin si bretch.
medyo contented na.
masaya kahit mag-isa.
may nagmamahal naman pala.
bretch, wag nang umasa
dahil ang saya
sa yo lang matatamasa.
bwehehe! umasa ka.
"have a little faith in me..."
Thursday, September 09, 2004
yes, its one of those damned instances wherein I always get surprised when I bump into him, I did not plan it, but as always, accidents play a vital role in the increased number of my traumatic experiences in life. That big headed bitch!
fashion fridays have now been changed to fashion thursdays. One reason is that there is little expousre of my presence during fridays. Another reason is that I could go head to head (pun intended) with that bitch. Bwhahaha.
Card prediction is another thing. Last night Em and Weng gave their card predictions for me. Some jive with the present situation that Iam in. Well most of the predictions. But as they say, it is just a prediciton, there is always a 50-50 interplay between destiny and human action. There is presumably a 50% destiny factor that is why I always bump into him when I don't want to but the other 50% which counts on myself doesn't work. TORPE ka kasi! -Iam scolding myself.
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
Last night after that Fr. Dacanay talk, i saw him... again. I remember during the report that he did not look at me at all.
But that night at around 6:15 pm, he looked at me, like he always did, even though it was a dark evening in the bench.
I recited in philo class a few hours ago, we were asked on why the identification of the body and soul is not absolute. I was not planning to recite at all but my mesmerized face caught the lecturer's attention. He said to me: "yes Mr. Calambro?" So I told the class what was on my mind.
"Sir I was thinking about another example of identification of the body. For example, a guy has this feelings for a girl but unfortunately he can't show it. When he has a chance to talk to the girl that he loves, he becomes "torpe" in a sense. That is why the body cannot truly represent the soul of the person in its entirity.
Typing my blog in CS lecture. Bwahaha!
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
Speaking of bitches, that madikit tumingin na akala mong sinong gwapo pero malaki naman ang ulo both literally and figuratively guy did what he does best again. Yes, that kind of tingin. Well, the only thing that I could do about it is to just look away.
In connection to what I said to Vip a few weeks ago regarding his look which is now common among fags- that body-fit shirt and butt-enhancing pair of pants and that cropped up hair-do, I would like to say that he is trying to pull of a new look. Ha? What was he thinking. This time, he can't wear it well. A victim of his own vanity. Bwahahaha! Lumaki tuloy lalo yung ulo niya sa hair niya. He tried to sport a short hair with two parallel shavings on the side. Hindi bagay no! Yan kasi!
On another relevant issue in my life, I met Jeff yesterday in his so called most fav mall in the world: The RobEast-StaLu center. Im also starting to love that mall nonetheless. (and to love some other things more) I saw a different side of me after that. A side I have never shown to anyone. Hmm. He's really cute. I really like him. Hayyy. But the point is, I wish I could see him more often. I still have my doubts and hopes that is why Iam not banking my heart yet. I will still see what the weather holds for us.
Monday, September 06, 2004
i wish that everthing would be alright
both technically in the presenatation
and in the oral defense.
i wish that the signs are right.
i wish he's not fooling around.
***don't go breakin my heart***
to make things worse other than my lack of sleep, i just had a SIGN overload? what the heck is that? well it is one of those scenarios wherein two significant things come to a tangent. in layman's term this is where you could see, hear, or feel two symbols in a single sentence, area or time.
to make it easier to understand, i will give the situation.
i was minding my own thing, sitting on one of the SEC catwalk benches waiting for my Philo101 class. I usually use that one hour break to finallly read my handouts. Today, I was kinda distracted because of the stress of my lack of sleep and the excitement of presenting the final broadcast quality video tomorrow. i took my video cam out just to view the video again, then tragedy struck. there came my two blockmates from philo class. the are of the same block as with the main topic of this blog. they said hi to me and one girl tried to make kulit of who is my crush.
then that horizonatlly challenged girl was tried to talk to the first girl and said to her: " Kahapon, kasama ko si TOOT tapos puntahan daw namin yung
Friday, September 03, 2004
ok naman ang CS defense kanina, thanks to that antipatikong ka-group ko,
di naman kami na-prito dahil medyo alam naman niya yung topic, acoustic star kasi siya. buti na lang ang nabunot ko ay audio recording, what a strike! bwehe!
exactly 3:05 na ngayon habang nagtatype ako dito sa sa foyer. sus naman, ang dami pa ring dapat tapusin. buti naman at free cut ulit sa marketing. na-late pa ako kanina. buti nalang walang class.
eto nanaman ako, gumawa ng isang bagay na pinagsisisihan ko. pucha talaga, what was i thinking. gawd dammit!
these are the worst fridays of my life. (like last week)
please, somebody save me.
naalala ko yung isang quote ni armen sa email niya: (hindi ito exact quote:)
"if you really want something, then the whole world will conspire to make it yours"
ang masasabi ko lang ay:
and love again.
Thursday, September 02, 2004
So ano yun? Kumaway-kaway pa siya. Anubayan... ako ba talaga yung kinawayan niya? Wala namang ibang tao dun kundi kami lang ni Kynan. (obviously di na si Kynan yun.) Sus, sana nag-hi din ako. Waah! Ano ba kasi ang gagawin ko!! Torpe! Fcuk it!! Happy new bitch, I mean month pala.
Good luck sa kin sa defense sa CS bukas.